Yo[u]Value | Online Self Help and Improvement

Stress can be a killer.  No, literally, stress can not only increase your chances of getting sick and have negative mental and physical side-effects, but it can actually bring you to your end before your due time.  There are a number of ways to relieve stress and there are many good resources both online and offline.  However, you don’t need to go and buy a bunch of books and you don’t need to consult a therapist.  That stuff costs money and money tends to be a root cause to stress both directly and indirectly.

One great way to relieve stress is to find something to do that brings you peace, joy, happiness, or any combination of those.  This may seem like an easy task, but it is much harder than some might think.  For many people, enjoyment of anything can lead to feelings of guilt or anxiety.  The best thing to keep in mind, if you are one of the unlucky who feel guilt or anxiety over doing something fun or enjoyable for yourself, is that there is nothing wrong with taking some time for you to do something that you like to do.  Yes, there are people who take this a bit too far and go to the other extreme where they spend too much time on pleasing themselves which can lead to actual neglect for other important things in life.  It is important to have a little discipline and moderation with anything. 

There are other types of people who are so busy that it seems hard for them to justify the personal time out for a small piece of personal enjoyment.  It is important to remember again that stress is unhealthy.  Less stress means better health.  Better health means better life.  Taking a little time for yourself is highly important in the pursuit of a better life.

There are ways to think your way out of stress.  Many times, people suffer from what I like to call “spilled milk syndrome”.  It is easy to get caught up in the stress that comes from thinkgs you cannot control or events that have already occurred.  It is often best to work your way through a stressful situation by realizing what can and cannot be done.  For the things that are outside of your control, you must bring yourself to a point of acceptance so you can get to the next step.  The perfect example is spilled milk.  You cannot un-spill the milk.  It happened, it sucks, but unless you can go back in time to prevent it, there is nothing you can do.  You can move forward though.  The spill can be cleaned up.  You can get more milk. 

The spilled milk scenario may seem a bit childish or silly, but you can put this mentality to use for just about any stressful situation.  Identify what can and cannot be dealt with and keep on moving forward.   The reason this mentality works is because, if you let your mind become wrapped up in what could have or should have happened, you freeze.  Your mind stays focused on something that cannot be changed and this makes it difficult or sometimes impossible to recover.  many times, spending too much time focused on things that cannot be controlled or changed that it makes the situation worse and more stressful.  In the spilled milk example,  you are crying over the fact that the milk spilled and thinking about how it happened and why it happened and so on, meanwhile, the mlik is soaking into the floor deeper and wider and getting into cracks that cannot be reached.  If the part that can be dealt with is handled right away, then the significance of the problem is reduced and thus the stress of it all is reduced.  OK, enough of the spilled milk.

In short, do what can be done and accept that which cannot be done.  Stress dissolves easier when you think this way.  I hope this helps.   If you have some tips on stress relief, we would sure like you to share. 

Take care!

Fear is often one of the biggest if not the biggest obstacles in our lives.  I found a neat article that touches on this very topic.  You can check it out here .  The most common solutions to overcoming fears seem to be understanding your fears and then finding a way to face them or deal with them.

A great example of this conquering of fear is my personal experience of riding roller coasters.  I used to tense up and tighten my stomach and shake with nervousness before the ride even started.  At the point at which the roller coaster speeds downward, I always felt as though I was going to just explode.  Between the muscles all over my body being tense and my insides shaking with fear, I am surprised that I never lost my lunch during and after the ride.

Once, I went on a trip with some friends and bravely seated myself in a roller coaster cart accompanied by one of my friends.  I stayed tense before, during, and after the ride.  However, I noticed something about my friend right as the roller coaster began to speed downward.  He was completely relaxed and even had a little boyish grin on his face.  My brain managed to process this and I quickly formulated the theory that, if you remain relaxed, maybe the downward falling feeling you get would be decreased.  Since I was in the perfect laboratory to test my theory, I quickly made my way to the next available roller coaster.

To my shock and amazement, when I forced myself to stay as relaxed as possible, the downward speeding roller coaster had a very enjoyable effect.  I think I rode nothing but roller coasters the rest of that day; even the ones where you have to stand up and go upside down.  Some of which I could never bring myself to do before.  I rode these with great ease and enjoyment.

I think it might work the same in many other parts of our lives.  If you can bring yourself to keep a clear and relaxed mind and body, a situation that was once fearful may be tackled with greater ease.  I have walked through life with this knowledge and found it to be … mostly true.  Some fears are rather large, but I won’t give up.  I hope you don’t either.

I’d like to hear from other people on their fears and how they were able to overcome them.  I’m sure it could help others and I would love to see a good discussion on this.  Please feel free to comment on this topic.

Did you know there were 48 laws of power?  According to best selling author,  Robert Greene, there are at least that many.  I kind of like knowing what makes people tick, so when I was given this book by a dear loved one, I was immediately interested.  The book was to be a gift for me.  At the time I was told about it, it would be hours before I would be able to get my hands on it, so I immediately started google-ing and youtube-ing for Robert Greene and his book and found a good number of interesting interviews and neat little videos that people had put together regarding this material.  After that, I was very much intoxicated by what the book held within it’s covers.

Here is one of the interviews I found which helps to give an idea of how this book came to be, what it was meant for, and what kind of person the author is:

And, here is a nice little youtube video of the 48 laws with moving background music:

I have only just begun to read this book, but Robert writes in a very pleasant way that works by giving historical examples of both the results of following and not following the rules and accompanying explanations of the examples.  The really great thing about a book like this and this book in particular is that the value of the information will ring true in all aspects of the reader’s life.  It is also pointed out that power is a game that you are part of whether you want to be or not.  It would, of course, be better to know how it works rather than be the constanct victim of it in the hands of those who might not be so kind or forgiving as you might be.

I am sure I will share more on this book as I dig deeper into it’s chapters.  Until then, check it out for yourself and see if it might lend you a helping hand.  Maybe we can get a good discussion going about what this book has to say.